Is anyone out there???

So, still looks like no one is seeing my blog. Or if they are, have nothing to say about it. That's fine, I mean, it's just me! Well, I am not a quitter, and I won't give in so easily! I will keep writing and writing, and maybe one day, one person (other then my husband) will want to join as well!

Seeing as this is an advice type column, and since no one has yet asked me on line for advice, I will just post some things that I have been asked in the past. Things that so many people have wondered or I have wondered.

It's going to be my 12yr anniversary on Sunday, and we have been together for 18yrs! Since we were 16yrs old!! Yes, that makes me 34, but not till Nov!! So, old yes, but not ancient! We have a friend, (no real names, so lets call him DT) and he has often talked about our relationship to complete strangers. He tells people, who complain about not having a serious, or healthy relationship, that he knows of a couple who does. He says, they compliment each other well, and have made it work. So he says, it can happen. And, well, it can, and does. I know of a few other people our age, that also have been together so long, and are still happy. There really is no magic spell, we just work at it. We've had times over the years, where one, or both of us thought of throwing in the towel, and just walking away, but we didn't. SO, we just kept talking, communicating, and trying, and we got through those hard times. We don't tell each other what to do, or put limits on each other. We are a married unit, with kids, but we are still individuals with needs and wants all our own. In DT's case, he was with some one who was very insecure, and didn't want him going out with his own friends, or doing anything as an individual. She has her own reasons for it, but it created so much resentment. This is not healthy. But with that said, DT didn't want to "rock the boat" so to speak, so he didn't say how he really felt, and just went along with it. Time and time again. He lost contact with friends he had for years, he didn't do anything for himself, he didn't feel like he had freedom. She wouldn't allow it, he wouldn't do anything to change it. It created so much anger and resentment, they couldn't get along for any reason. So, they split. And both of them are wondering what happened. Talking is the biggest key in a relationship. It's ok to agree to disagree once in a while. But don't take it personally, and do it in a loving way, before resentments can set it. Just think, if you don't like to be controlled by anyone, then, chances are, no one else wants to be controlled by you either. And if you are being controlled by someone, it's OK to say you don't like it, and you don't have to abide by it. If you are in an abusive relationship, I don't condone staying. Please leave, and seek help. If you are unsure of how and where to seek help, please contact me, and I will help you find the help you need.

Hope you have a nice weekend. I won't be on till after Monday. But please feel free to drop a line, or leave a comment, or ask your own advice.

BYYEEEEE